The Man in the Jewlery Box. (3)

The third and final installment!
Yes, I am aware that this needs some major edits. Thanks so much for sharing.
I'll get to them. Probably not this week because I have a major paper due on Friday.
I hope you like it.
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I started counting the jewelry yesterday, made it somewhere around one thousand before the piles started to blur together and I lost track. The boredom started to kick in half past breakfast on that second day. I used to think I’d keep myself busy by people watching, but even the constant procession of new subjects can’t parry the ugly gray feeling’s descent. I feel a little like giving in to the small, jarring feeling in my left foot and having a panic attack, just for something to do.
My brain feels heavier than normal as I stretch out on a bed of gold spikes. At first it would take at least ten minutes to get comfortable among the jewels, but now I barely feel anything as I sprawl out. This suit they put me in doesn’t leave much skin exposed, but I can still feel the patches of irritated flesh objecting to this abuse. My hands have become permanently red and indented. It’s a safe bet that the rest of my skin looks the same, but I’m not sure I care to find out.
Luxury died two days ago when I started to smell and lose the ability to think clearly. The only things I am able to do hygiene wise are: a. use the restroom, b. brush my teeth, and c. wash my face. The towelettes are made of some sort of Parisian cloth, but this entire box is stunningly void of a razor. I can feel the tiny hairs starting to break ground and emerge onto my face, itching like hell. I’m being stabbed in the night by bracelets literally and in my nightmares, I wake up sweating and claustrophobic in a prison of red scratches. This suit is becoming unbearable and I’m afraid it’s stuck to me forever.
I’ve lost count of the days. It hasn’t been many, I know, but you’d be surprised how quickly a person can become mad.
It’s been at least a month when I wake up out of a particularly gruesome nightmare. The moon is fuller than it’s ever been, casting the snickering little beasts in a cold, bony light. I haven’t moved in hours upon hours and the only part of me that isn’t numb is my back.
New York is still alive, but I can’t really hear it, my glittering cocoon keeps me isolated from everything.
I try to turn over to stare up at the skyscrapers, but my arms are slick with sweat and my legs are all tangled in piles of thousand dollar necklaces. I finally wrench myself into a sitting position with every muscle screaming and rioting in protest. The gold before me isn’t glittering. It’s painted in splotches of O negative. So are my forearms.

Give The People What They Want ~ How To Write A Rough Draft

So in an attempt to actually give readers what they want, I turned to the little section on my homepage/dashboard thing that says ‘Top Searches.’ I wanted to know the desires of those few and far between folks who glance at my blog posts in a sort of stumbled upon glory.

                My only ‘top search’ was ‘How to write a rough draft.’

                Well since you’ve expressed interest in this area, I’m here to offer you my sought-after advice.

Step one:

JUST WRITE!

Step two:

Make a list of at least six ideas about what you want to write about, or where you want your story to end up, or any potential plot twists, or interesting information you want to include in your report.

Step three:

Pick one of the last ones.

Step four:

Write.

Step five:

Coffee break

Step six:

Write.

                Believe it or not, I know why you are searching this. I completely understand the stomach-churning, mind-numbing ferocity that can be the blank page. I know the feeling of stale heartbreak as you watch your great idea fizzle and die within a few sentences. I know the cold desolation of a world without ideas. And I also know why you’re turning to search engines with obvious searches like ‘how to write a rough draft’ because all these things heaped upon you are hindering your desire to put pen to paper.

                And even if you haven’t found this blog because of a search like this, I know you’ve felt writer’s block at one point or another. It’s cold and it’s clammy and it has the power to kill your dream… or your A on a term paper.

                So take my advice and laugh in the face of writers block. Seriously, show that douche what you’re made of. Write. Don’t apologize and don’t make excuses. Don’t care if it sucks. Edits will always be there for you.

                Sincerely,

                Jade-The-Slightly-Harsh-Motivational-Speaker.

                (April short story sometime next week.)

Hierarchy Syndrome.

Alright, so, you know what I said in one of my previous blog posts? About just accepting that my writing isn’t perfect (and let’s be honest, it’s nowhere close) all the while learning and growing and just focusing on improvement? Well, I’ve learned something about that whole kumbayah, c’est la vie mentality.

It’s. Hard.

                I’ve grown up comparing. Most everything I’ve read, I judge on either the fact that a. I could do better than that, b. that’s about my speed, or c. I would kill to have written it.

                It’s not just writing, I compare in all aspects of life, i.e. social rank, intelligence, beauty, friendliness.

                I was at confession this past weekend. And after I bashed my knee coming in the door and stumbled into my chair in a nervous flush, I confessed, among others, the sin of jealousy.

                Father Jay nodded his head, crossed his arms, leaned back, and sighed before delivering this line, “Comparing is one of the most dangerous things you can do. On one hand it can give you arrogance and the false sense that because of something transitory, you are better than someone else. On the other, it can make you feel less if you don’t have what others do.”

                One of the truest things I’ve ever heard. Hierarchy Syndrome is treacherous and has power enough to ruin your life. It ends up obsessing you with ways to move up or how you’ve moved down that you don’t focus on true growth or general acceptance.

                And of course that’s going to be hard, especially if you compare mercilessly like I do. But looking back from the other side, you start to see that life’s not so black and white.

                Just my personal perspective on the subject.

                Like I said very briefly on Tuesday, I will be on vacation all of next week. This means no Tuesday/Thursday posts. (I know you’re really disappointed.)

                But of course I will be bringing a notebook along with me to capture the inspiration when it strikes. If it’s anything good enough, I’ll share some of that with you on Sunday.

Getting Started.

As this is my very first blog post, let me introduce myself. My name’s Jade, I’m of Belgian/Italian/Euromutt descent, I love salsa, I’ve seen every Gilmore Girls episode known to man, and I’m a writer.

The reason I decided to create this blog was because of a startling realization. I realized that I was beginning to lack the true ambition that drives good writing. Ever since kindergarten, I’ve known I wanted to be an author and this is the time in my life when I really need to focus on honing my skill. So here's where the blog comes in. I know that I can do something and do it well if I have to. Taking on a project such as this will give me the structure and the concrete boundaries I need to refocus on ‘crunch time.’ When I see a problem and I do whatever it takes to fix it.

Because I’m analytically determined like that.

Now I know that I probably won’t acquire many, if any, readers. But that is absolutely fine with me. I’m doing this for me, to help me (to quote Norbet Platt) regain my equilibrium within the soul-searching method of putting pen to paper. However, that doesn’t mean that readers won’t be greatly appreciated. (:

How this is going to work: I’m going to be posting something new every Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday. (These dates can be subject to change, but I will be posting at least three times a week regardless)

Topics will include progress on any stories/poems/bios I happen to be working on, journal entries about writing/writers/etc, or general writer’s notebook-esque sort of passages. (Which can be beautiful or introspective or funny or just plain bad food for thought pieces that don’t fit anywhere else.)

On a final note, I’d like to quote the great Gail Carson Levine by saying, “The only way to write better is to write more.”

Thanks Gail, I'm trying.